My Life Dock http://mylifedock.com Sharing stuff that washes up on shore posterous.com Mon, 17 Oct 2011 15:20:00 -0700 Most Unbelievable Thing You Will Ever Watch. http://mylifedock.com/most-unbelievable-thing-you-will-ever-watch http://mylifedock.com/most-unbelievable-thing-you-will-ever-watch

demographicproblem.wmv Watch on Posterous

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Sun, 17 Jul 2011 15:04:00 -0700 Is your memory slipping? It could be the 'Google' effect http://mylifedock.com/is-your-memory-slipping-it-could-be-the-googl http://mylifedock.com/is-your-memory-slipping-it-could-be-the-googl

Do you find yourself running to the Internet to get information on things you swear you already know? You're not alone.

Researchers at Columbia University did a series of tests and found people are far less likely to remember information they know they can find on the Internet.

They called it the "Google" effect.

The researchers say our brains rely on the Internet for memory much like people in the past relied on friends and co-workers to remember things.

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Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:37:59 -0700 Cat Baths http://mylifedock.com/cat-baths http://mylifedock.com/cat-baths A few thoughts on cat baths...by The Cat   
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'But You Said You Loved Me!'
 


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'You will pay, as God is my witness, you will pay.'
 


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'Holy crap, you call this water warm???'
 


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'I don't think I like you anymore.'
 


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'You Lied !!!!!!'
 


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'E.T. Phone home.......quick! '
 


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'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.'
 

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'Traction... .I'm losing Traction!'
 


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'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyy!'


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Oh Hell No !!!! 

Even if you're not a 'cat person' these pictures are priceless!!

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Mon, 11 Jul 2011 00:04:00 -0700 Let's Please Be Careful Out There http://mylifedock.com/lets-please-be-careful-out-there http://mylifedock.com/lets-please-be-careful-out-there
Mail1

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Sat, 09 Jul 2011 03:05:00 -0700 Wife's Diary http://mylifedock.com/wifes-diary http://mylifedock.com/wifes-diary

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.

I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong;

He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.

He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.

He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.

But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.

He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out.

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Wed, 06 Jul 2011 02:21:00 -0700 The Phoenix Haboob of July 5th, 2011 by Mike Olbinski http://mylifedock.com/the-phoenix-haboob-of-july-5th-2011-by-mike-o http://mylifedock.com/the-phoenix-haboob-of-july-5th-2011-by-mike-o
Media_httpphotos500px_edyyf

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Tue, 05 Jul 2011 21:02:56 -0700 Dust Storm Blows Through Phoenix http://mylifedock.com/dust-storm-blows-through-phoenix http://mylifedock.com/dust-storm-blows-through-phoenix

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Fri, 01 Jul 2011 01:58:00 -0700 How to Load and Unload a Back Hoe http://mylifedock.com/how-to-load-and-unload-a-back-hoe http://mylifedock.com/how-to-load-and-unload-a-back-hoe

OnlyaManCan.wmv Watch on Posterous

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Thu, 30 Jun 2011 02:21:00 -0700 Just Pencils http://mylifedock.com/just-pencils http://mylifedock.com/just-pencils

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Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:35:00 -0700 Biting the bullet - cutting expenses http://mylifedock.com/biting-the-bullet-cutting-expenses http://mylifedock.com/biting-the-bullet-cutting-expenses

I HOPE YOU WILL PARTICIPATE AND DO YOUR PART

The President ordered the cabinet to cut $100 million from the $3.5 trillion federal budget.

I'm so impressed by this sacrifice that I have decided to do the same thing with my personal budget. I spend about $2000 a month on groceries, household expenses, medicine, utilities, etc, but it's time to get out the budget cutting axe, go through my expenses, and cut back.

I'm going to cut my spending at exactly the same ratio, 1/35,000 of my total budget. After doing the math, it looks like instead of spending $2000 a month; I'm going to have to cut that number by six cents. Yes, I'm going to have to get by with $1999.94, but that's what sacrifice is all about. I'll just have to do without some things, that are, frankly, luxuries.

(Did the Obama actually think no one would do the math?)

John Q. Taxpayer

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Tue, 07 Jun 2011 23:35:00 -0700 Apple's New Campus Presented to Cupertino City Council http://mylifedock.com/apples-new-campus-presented-to-cuppertino-cit http://mylifedock.com/apples-new-campus-presented-to-cuppertino-cit

Steve_Jobs_Presents_to_the_Cupertino_City_Council_(6-7-11).mp4 Watch on Posterous

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Tue, 24 May 2011 16:11:57 -0700 This Is Why There Are No Jobs in America http://mylifedock.com/this-is-why-there-are-no-jobs-in-america http://mylifedock.com/this-is-why-there-are-no-jobs-in-america I'd like to make you a business offer. Seriously. This is a real offer. In fact, you really can't turn me down, as you'll come to understand in a moment… 

Here's the deal. You're going to start a business or expand the one you've got now. It doesn't really matter what you do or what you're going to do. I'll partner with you no matter what business you're in – as long as it's legal. 

But I can't give you any capital – you have to come up with that on your own. I won't give you any labor – that's definitely up to you. What I will do, however, is demand you follow all sorts of rules about what products and services you can offer, how much (and how often) you pay your employees, and where and when you're allowed to operate your business. That's my role in the affair – to tell you what to do. 

Now in return for my rules, I'm going to take roughly half of whatever you make in the business each year. Half seems fair, doesn't it? I think so. Of course, that's half of your profits. You're also going to have to pay me about 12% of whatever you decide to pay your employees because you've got to cover my expenses for promulgating all the rules about who you can employ, when, where, and how. Come on, you're my partner. It's only "fair." 

Now… after you've put your hard-earned savings at risk to start this business, and after you've worked hard at it for a few decades (paying me my 50% or a bit more along the way each year), you might decide you'd like to cash out – to finally live the good life. Whether or not this is "fair" – some people never can afford to retire – is a different argument. As your partner, I'm happy for you to sell whenever you'd like… because our agreement says if you sell, you have to pay me an additional 20% of whatever the capitalized value of the business is at that time. I know… I know… you put up all the original capital. You took all the risks. You put in all the labor. That's all true. But I've done my part, too. I've collected 50% of the profits each year. And I've always come up with more rules for you to follow each year. Therefore, I deserve another, final 20% slice of the business. 

Oh… and one more thing… Even after you've sold the business and paid all my fees… I'd recommend buying lots of life insurance. You see, even after you've been retired for years, when you die, you'll have to pay me 50% of whatever your estate is worth. After all, I've got lots of partners and not all of them are as successful as you and your family. We don't think it's "fair" for your kids to have such a big advantage. But if you buy enough life insurance, you can finance this expense for your children. 

All in all, if you're a very successful entrepreneur… if you're one of the rare, lucky, and hard-working people who can create a new company, employ lots of people, and satisfy the public… you'll end up paying me more than 75% of your income over your life. Thanks so much.

I'm sure you'll think my offer is reasonable and happily partner with me… But it doesn't really matter how you feel about it because if you ever try to stiff me – or cheat me on any of my fees or rules – I'll break down your door in the middle of the night, threaten you and your family with heavy, automatic weapons, and throw you in jail. That's how civil society is supposed to work, right? This is Amerika, isn't it? 

That's the offer Amerika gives its entrepreneurs. And the idiots in Washington wonder why there are no new jobs… 

Regards, Porter Stansberry Baltimore, Maryland May 20, 2011

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Tue, 24 May 2011 15:33:00 -0700 Divorce Agreement Proposal to the LIberals http://mylifedock.com/divorce-agreement-proposal-to-the-liberals http://mylifedock.com/divorce-agreement-proposal-to-the-liberals

    Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.:

    We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.  I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

    Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms.  We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

    Here is a model separation agreement:

1.  Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each taking a similar portion.  That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement.  After that, it should be relatively easy.  Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes.

2.  We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.

3.  You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.

4.  Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.

5.  We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar, and bio-diesel.

6.  You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell.  You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

7.  We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, WalMart, and Wall Street.

8.  You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

9.  We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.

10.  We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

11.  You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

12.  You can have the peace-niks and war protesters.  When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

13.  We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

14.  You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain.  You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.

15.  We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars.  You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

16.  You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

17.  We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

18.  We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

19.  I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".

20.  We'll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

21.  Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

22.  Would you agree to this?  If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.  In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall

Law Student and an American

P.S.:   Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbra Steisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S.:  And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.

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Tue, 24 May 2011 15:01:00 -0700 Michigan! http://mylifedock.com/michigan http://mylifedock.com/michigan

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, 'Where have you been?'

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, 'Look Michael, look what I've made.'

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, 'What is it?'

'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance'

'Balance?? inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, 'For example, some countries will have great opportunities and wealth while others will be poor.'

God continued, pointing to different countries 'This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, 'What's that one?'

'Ah,' said God. 'That's Michigan, the most glorious place on earth.

You'll notice that it is made in the fashion of my hand, the Hand of God. There are beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets and rolling hills. The people from  Michigan are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace.'

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration.

Only THOSE who have grown up in Michigan will forward this e-mail. :-)

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Sun, 22 May 2011 03:34:00 -0700 "The Rapture Confirmed For May 21, 2011" by Old Fart Rants http://mylifedock.com/the-rapture-confirmed-for-may-21-2011-by-old http://mylifedock.com/the-rapture-confirmed-for-may-21-2011-by-old

Video made BEFORE May 21st. Interesting.

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Sun, 22 May 2011 03:32:00 -0700 May 21 Judgment Day and Allegations of Donation Scam: Rapture Victims May Sue Harold Camping http://mylifedock.com/may-21-judgment-day-and-allegations-of-donati http://mylifedock.com/may-21-judgment-day-and-allegations-of-donati

The suggestion is being raised on some forums on the internet that those who have donated money to Harold Camping to help "sound the trumpet of Judgment" should on Monday morning call their lawyers and sue Harold Camping, his Family Radio ministry and associates/affiliates to recover their donations.

According to minstrywatch.com, the net assets of Harold Camping's Family Radio is estimated at over $120 million, a massive asset value accumulated exclusively from listener-supported funding.There have been allegations of donations scam involvment in Harold Campings Judgment Day campaign when Chris McCann's ebible fellowship website and Bible Ministries International joined Harold Camping's Family Radio and began promoting themselves with the subtle suggestion that the three ministries were the only true end-time ministries to which believers who want to be Raptured may donate to.

Even though ebiblefellowship.com claimed, a few days to May 21, 2011, that  it had stopped receiving donations due to "shortness of time until May 21, 2011," skeptics have noted that ebible fellowship went out of its way to recommend Harold Camping's Family Radio as the specially anointed ministry for believers to continue donating to, claiming that ebible fellowship has no affiliation with Family Radio.

Harold Camping had severed all relationship with the organized church claiming that the "Church Age" had ended and, thus, according to skeptics, set the stage for a situation in which scam artists and other opportunists may see a chance to rake in quick profits for themselves by associating with his ministry.

Close watchers of religious cult movements such as Harold Camping's believe that suing Harold Camping and his associates for recovery of donations should set a precedent that will discourage future Judgment Day date-setters whose prophecies disrupt the lives of millions and cause lifelong trauma to their followers.

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Sat, 21 May 2011 00:39:00 -0700 Five Emotions Invented By The Internet http://mylifedock.com/five-emotions-invented-by-the-internet http://mylifedock.com/five-emotions-invented-by-the-internet

A vague and gnawing pang of anxiety centered around an IM window that has lulled. During this time an individual feels unsure whether they have offended the IM recipient, committed a breach of IM etiquette, or have otherwise spoilt the presentation of themselves carefully crafted thus far thanks to the miracles of the textual medium. The individual must be at least vaguely aware that they are being vaguely paranoid, and must tell themselves things like ‘he probably just stepped away from the keyboard’ or ‘I know she is at work right now so perhaps she has stopped replying because she is busy.’

This sentiment of anxiety must surface only after an extremely brief lapse in the pace of the conversation [range of ~30 seconds to 1 minute], and the individual must tell themselves things like ‘it has only been like a minute, don’t worry.’ The individual may mull a mental history of their prior IM conversations with the subject and with others in an attempt to gauge whether the lull is ‘normal’, or to extrapolate what the lull might indicate about the subject’s sentiment toward them.  The individual may experience elevated heart rate and depersonalization, and while staring at the screen with an unfocused expression, have catastrophic thoughts about their romantic history, their ability to be liked by others in the future or their key flaws.

A sudden and irrational rage in response to reading an ‘@-reply’ on Twitter. The reply is not especially insulting and might be simply a little bit facile, or flippant, or even overly friendly. It is essential that the substance of the ‘trigger’ is not actually upsetting or offensive in any comprehensible way; for example, a total stranger with a particularly goofy Twitter ‘avatar’ might tweet at an individual ‘hope you are staying safe in the snow, [name!] ;) ’ in a totally reasonable and friendly fashion and the recipient instead experiences a sudden flash of negative sentiment like ‘who is this person and what makes someone randomly wish for the safety of a stranger, they are probably a loser, I am offended by the attention of this obsequious weirdo.’

Or the individual might Tweet seeking recommendations for what to watch on Hulu and receive a reply that says ‘have you seen [x]’ where ‘x’ is something completely obvious that everyone has seen, and the individual experiences the strong urge to reply with something virulent or to tweet ‘WHY ARE IDIOTS FOLLOWING ME WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE.’ Throughout the immediate rush of irrational hair-trigger irritation the individual is vaguely aware that their reaction is completely inappropriate for the situation of being addressed in a less than desirable way by strangers on the internet. In advanced cases the person tweets something stark or vicious about the state of society or about the internet and deletes it ~15-30 seconds later after realizing it is exceptionally unwarranted.

The state of being ‘installed’ at a computer or laptop for an extended period of time without purpose, characterized by a blurry, formless anxiety undercut with something hard like desperation. During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well as that of another randomly-selected individual who may or may not be on the ‘friends’ list, 2-5 Gchat conversations that are no longer immediately active, possibly iTunes and a ‘client’ for Twitter. The individual will switch between the open applications/tabs in a fashion that appears organized but is functionally aimless, will return to reading some kind of ‘blog post’ in one browser tab and become distracted at the third paragraph for the third time before switching to the Gmail inbox and refreshing it again.

The behavior equates to mindlessly refreshing and ‘lozenging’ the same sources of information repeatedly. While performing this behavior the individual feels a sense of numb depersonalization, being calmly and pragmatically aware that they have no identifiable need to be at the computer nor are they gleaning any practical use from it at that moment, and the individual may feel vaguely uncomfortable or ashamed about this awareness in concert with the fact that they continue to perform the idle ‘refreshing’ behavior. They may feel increasingly anxious and needful, similar to the sensation of having an itch that needs scratching or a thirst that needs quenching, all while feeling as though they are calm or slightly bored.

The car collision of appetite and discomfort one feels simultaneously when using the internet to seek and consume images or information that may be considered unseemly or inappropriate. The individual might be viewing a YouTube video of an extremely uncool musical performance, an awkwardly poor ‘stand-up’ performance by a friend or something else they clicked on to be polite during an IM conversation to which the individual would have been unlikely to have navigated on his or her own.  Despite the fact that the individual is alone, possibly wearing headphones, or otherwise in a state of adequate privacy, the individual still feels slightly self-conscious in a way that is only possible in the silent digital echo chamber of the internet, under the internet’s populist eye. The individual is unlikely to be able to make more than a cursory assessment of the offending media, and may experience the sensation of ‘suffering through’ it despite the fact that the individual chose, or believes they chose, to view it.

In advanced cases, however, the individual continues to seek out contact with the offending media and offshoots or evolutions thereupon, such as finding a group of Tumblr users who seem insane and flipping rapidly through the Tumblrs while thinking ‘who the fuck would make this kind of Tumblr, how can there be so many people doing this,’ or finding an exceptionally boring and obnoxious Formspring user and thinking ‘god what a terrible person’ while reading ~6 pages of questions they answered. It is analogous to smoking a cigarette while thinking ‘ugh, smoking is slowly causing cancer inside me’ and finishing the cigarette, except for being expanded to ‘emotional landscape’ level and being much more fraught, somehow. The individual may experience a burning sensation or redness in the face or ears.

The sense of fatigue and disconnect one experiences after emitting a massive stream of content only to hit some kind of ‘wall’ and forget and/or abandon the entire thing. Most commonly encountered when a person starts to type a comment on a website, such as a carefully-considered response to a news article, generally for the purpose of joining a discussion taking place in a comments section, although this might apply to a blog post or Facebook ‘note’ if the individual is in the habit of generating those on at least a semi-regular basis. The person starts out with a tangible urge to produce a written argument and writes with intensity and immediacy until they notice they have written some 2-4 paragraphs, at which point begin feeling self-conscious about what they have written and wonder whether the length of their comment is appropriate.

The individual begins editing it to feel more concise and effective, begins adding some details and removing others, until an unacceptable length of time passes and the individual feels increasingly ‘fuzzy’ about whatever it was they were writing. They may feel as though the thread of their idea has ‘gotten away from them’ or that each paragraph of the increasingly unruly block of text is weaker than the one that preceded it. The need to say something has lapsed and leaves a dim, fatigued sensation in its place. In advanced cases, a sensation approximating ‘headache’ but not as tangible nor identifiable as ‘headache’ sets in.

The individual leaves their unfinished content in the ‘box,’ and becomes hyper-aware of its transient nature while navigating aimlessly to other tabs. The individual returns to the in-progress content as if to assure it still exists. The individual reads the content through for perhaps the tenth time in total and then presses ‘ctrl-a’ and ‘backspace’ or ‘delete’ and feels a simultaneous rush of relief and impotence when the content disappears. The person feels decimated, depersonalized and powerless while sitting still for a handful of seconds and may feel depressed for several minutes thereafter. TC mark

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Fri, 20 May 2011 14:52:47 -0700 Wedding Cakes in Kuwait http://mylifedock.com/wedding-cakes-in-kuwait http://mylifedock.com/wedding-cakes-in-kuwait
Wedding_Cakes_in_Kuwait.pps Download this file

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Fri, 20 May 2011 14:41:00 -0700 This Dog Obeys http://mylifedock.com/this-dog-obeys http://mylifedock.com/this-dog-obeys
Smartdog.wmv Watch on Posterous

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Fri, 20 May 2011 14:36:22 -0700 The Black Hole http://mylifedock.com/the-black-hole http://mylifedock.com/the-black-hole
TheBlackHole.wmv Watch on Posterous

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